Tips Offs Of A Cheating Husband

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Many women who find my blog or write to me really hope that they are wrong about their suspicions. I believe that they write to me hoping for information that is going to prove that they are over reaching or that will call them off the trail.  A few want confirmation that they aren't crazy or paranoid. The truth is, only you (and your husband) can provide this reassurance for you.  What I can provide though are some cheating signs or tips off that might be showing themselves if an affair has or is taking place. You'll find these in the following article.

Your Gut Is Telling You That Something Is Amiss: Often, the first time that you are actually conscious that something is going on is when you get this little tightening in the pit of your stomach and you start to feel worry, anxiety, or insecurity that just wasn't there before.  If you attempt to confront your husband about this, he'll often act incredulous: "you want to accuse me because of a feeling you have? Are you serious?"  And, for a while, you may be embarrassed, ashamed, or may even think that maybe he's right.  Still, though, the feeling remains.  In terms of statistics, many times, you're right.  The feeling isn't always proof of an affair, but usually he is keeping something from you – your job is determine if this "something" is cheating.

A Change In Sexual Activity (Increase / Decrease / Asking For Different Things): Sometimes, you do get the stereotypical drop off in his interest in you sexually.  Things just are no longer happening or if they are, there is just no spark or real, genuine interest.  However, this isn't always true.  Actually, many people report an increase in sexual activity and experimentation.  The affair awakens a sense of adventure in the husband and / or he's trying to see if he can reignite the spark because of his guilt. I've often been told by wives things like: "this caught me completely off guard because lately, he can't get enough of me."  Well, that's his intention. Sometimes, they ramp things up to throw you off the trail.

Suddenly Hiding Or Becoming Uncomfortable With Cell Phones, Computers, Cars, Work Spaces, Etc: There are often a few places where a husband will keep proof of his affair.  Gone are the days of phone hang ups in the middle of the night.  Often, when the "other woman" needs to contact your husband, she will just text, IM, or email him.  Now, often he'll keep this interaction separate and at work or school.  But, since he can't always be in the office, he'll often have to check for these things at home – at least sometimes.

And, when you get close to these tools, he'll get uncomfortable or he'll make it so you can't have access to them.  He'll hide them, take them, or tell you he's afraid you'll mess something up. Or he'll have delete his history and / or changed pass words.  He's done these things because he knows the trail is there and he doesn't want you anywhere near them.  He probably also suspects that you can undelete these things (you can – if you can get your hands on them.)

Also, you'll find that you no longer get the warm welcome when you want to come to his office, school, (or wherever the place where she commonly interacts with him is.)  If you suddenly get the cold shoulder when you come somewhere that you were previously welcome, that's cause for alarm or the suspicion that she's either in that place or there's potential proof there that would expose them.

He'll Mentally Or Physically Not There:  Literally or figuratively, he's just not around that much.  He might be working late a lot, have other things to take care of, or suddenly begin seeing a lot more of "family" or "friends."  Or, if he's is there, he's just not paying that much attention.  He'll be somewhere else, drift off, or be undeniably distracted.  He'll forget little details that he would've previously remembered.  He'll tell you that he's under a lot of stress and he'll make you feel guilty for even insinuating anything, but it's pretty clear that his heart and his presence is not with you as much.

There Are Little Inconsistencies That Don't Make Sense:  You'll start to notice that he's inconsistent or not accurate in other, innocent areas.  He'll tell you that he spent time with so and so, and then you'll learn that so and so wasn't even in town.  He'll mention outings or experiences that never took place.  He'll make up stories that just ring untrue.  But, these things are small and don't seem to correspond with an affair or cheating.  They still may be, though. Because often they get so used to lying, creating an alternative reality, and covering this up that they feel like they have to fabricate everything in their lives. So, even the little things start ringing as untrue for you, even though you scold yourself for wondering about something that seemingly doesn't matter.

I ignored these signs for way too long. My heart knew that he was cheating, but my head didn't want to acknowlege it. After thinking on it for a long time, I decided that I really wanted to know the truth, no matter what that truth was. I learned how to get concrete information and proof that my husband thought that he had hid and erased. Once I presented this to him, he had no choice but to come clean. You can read a very personal story at

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Tips Offs Of A Cheating Husband

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This article was published on 2010/10/13
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